Jokes :)
Found them on a website, were too funny to not to postThoughts from well known "ladies" !!
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes
Because I know I'm not dumb ...
And I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
But you hardly ever see a smart woman with
A dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-
My husband and I are either going to buy a
Dog or have a child. We can't decide to
Ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
-Rita Rudner-
I've been on so many blind dates,
I should get a free dog.
-Wendy Liebman-
Never lend your car to anyone to
Whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck-
If high heels were so wonderful,
Men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
I'm not going to vacuum 'til
Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
I think, therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-
When women are depressed they either eat
Or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-
Behind every successful man is
a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-
I base most of my fashion taste on
What doesn't itch.
-Gilda Radner-
In politics, if you want anything said,
Ask a man;
If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on
How to combine marriage (or parenthood)
And a career.
-Gloria Steinhem-
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
- Gloria Steinhem-
I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
-Marie Corelli-
Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith Summerskill-
If men can run the world, why can't they stop
Wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start
The day by tying a little noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee-
I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-