Thursday, February 08, 2007

Jokes :)

Found them on a website, were too funny to not to post
Thoughts from well known "ladies" !!
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes
Because I know I'm not dumb ...
And I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women,
But you hardly ever see a smart woman with
A dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-

My husband and I are either going to buy a
Dog or have a child. We can't decide to
Ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
-Rita Rudner-

I've been on so many blind dates,
I should get a free dog.
-Wendy Liebman-

Never lend your car to anyone to
Whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck-

If high heels were so wonderful,
Men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til
Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

I think, therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-

When women are depressed they either eat
Or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is
a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

I base most of my fashion taste on
What doesn't itch.
-Gilda Radner-

In politics, if you want anything said,
Ask a man;
If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on
How to combine marriage (or parenthood)
And a career.
-Gloria Steinhem-

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
- Gloria Steinhem-

I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.
-Marie Corelli-

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith Summerskill-

If men can run the world, why can't they stop
Wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start
The day by tying a little noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee-

I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-