The Psychiatrist & The Proctologist
The Psychiatrist & The Proctologist
Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two
different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading:
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors". The town council was livid and insisted they
change it.
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids". This was also not acceptable, so
they again changed the sign. "Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go. Next, they tried "Manic
Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.. Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no
good.
Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again! So they tried
"Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance. "Nuts and Butts" - no way. "Freaks and Cheeks" -
still no good. "Loons and Moons" - forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing
in Odds and Ends". Everyone loved it
incidents
Incident 1: while traveling to work last Friday , we were stalled in old madras road by traffic. next to our bus there was one more green color big10 bus. i was casually looking out the window and noticed that the bus was almost empty. One guy who happen to be in the bus near by to the window i was sitting was looking at his reflection in the steel inner wall( i guess) e was trying to fix some thing on his face. he put his finger in the nose/ mouth he was making weird faces, i was just seeing and was amused. He then realized some one looking at his antics!! he tried to peep through the window between bars or whtever and see his face was s funny i burst out laughing aloud :-P
incident 2:
last Friday while i was traveling back from work noticed a strange incident. Our bus was waiting at the lalbagh signal.
i was just looking out through the window. Saw a crow trying to eat the left over corn on the cob from a near by trash.
One more crow flew by and wanted to share the meal, this firs crow shooed away the other crow!!!. We have believed so far that one crow sees food it will call all its relatives!!!etc etc. This sight was surprising!! Is it that crows have been urbanized? or have they changed with time ? i donno but it was strange sight indeed
one more incident which i remembered today : some guy in the bus was having a conversation over the phone and was trying to spell something . He said the letter "P" so loudly i could not help but smile. He said "P for police. P P " he stressed so much on P that i felt like telling hm don't force the other person to pee :-
Hilarious.............Facebook Addiction
The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."
It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering, "I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."
A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.
"Don't worry. It'll be all right."
"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like'
button."
"How long has it been?"
"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."
The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.
"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."
"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."
"How soon were you hooked?"
"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India. My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."
"What do you like most about Facebook?"
"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674.
I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."
"Who's he?"
"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."
"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."
"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."
"Let me guess. Farmville?"
"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."
"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"
"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. "
"What pic are you using?"
"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."
"To make yourself look prettier?"
"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."
"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"
"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."
"When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"
"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"
"What did you do?"
"What else? I unfriended him of course!"
stumbled across this link amazing song
some days
some day aren't easy
some days aren't pink
some days are just blank
some days are just tough
i pull through
i drag through
some days i make it
some days i don't
yet another day i see pass away yet another night!!!
it makes me wonder and wonder
yet no light!!!
i ask my maker what is the purpose of my life why am i here?
some days he silent and some days he smiles
Hope some day he replies some day he would show me the light , some day he would sow me the path
till then i wonder some days..............
long time since i posted :) thought will write few lines
ಎಕಾದೆ?
ಕತ್ತಲೆಯ ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಳಕಾಗಿ ನೀ ಬಂದೆ
ಬತ್ತಲೆಯ ಬಾನಲ್ಲಿ ಚುಕ್ಕಿ ಚಂದ್ರಮನಾದೆ
ಬಿತ್ತರ ಹೊಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಚಿಕ್ಕ ಸಸಿಯೂದೆ
ಎಲ್ಲವಾಗಿ ಕಡೆಗೆ ಕಡುಕ್ರೂರಿ ಎಕಾದೆ?
ಲೆಕ್ಕ
ನನ್ನ ಜೀವನವೆಂಬ ಗಣಿತ ಪುಸ್ತಕದಲ್ಲಿ
ಕೂಡು ಕಳೆಯುವ ಲೆಕ್ಕ...
ಕೂಡಿದೆಷ್ಟೂ... ಕಳೆದಿದೆಷ್ಟೂ...
ಗುಣಿಸಿ ಭಾಗಿಸದಿದ್ದರು ಉಳಿದಿದೆ ಶೇಷ
In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an American
woman was planning a trip to India.She was registered to stay in a small
guest house owned by the
local schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house
contained a WC. In US, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for
"Water Closet".
She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.
The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew
the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters
and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel"
near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.
So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:
Dear Madam,
I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from
the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees,surrounded
by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on
Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer
months, I suggest you arrive early.there is, however, plenty of standing
room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of
going regularly.
It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as
it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were
10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their
faces. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been
almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly. You will be
pleas ed to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it.
Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time! I would
recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ
accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds
can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell which rings every
time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all
since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there
myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster.
Note: The woman never visited India!!!!
